We all know that employee: they're sharp, intense, and command a room like a freight train — but they leave a trail of collateral damage in their wake. Despite the results this employee may bring in, ignoring their poor people skills can hurt your organization’s morale, increase turnover, and frustrate everyone who interacts with this person.
Although many people think there’s no way to help this person, or think their personality is set in stone, here at The Metiss Group, we’ve spent the past three decades helping business leaders overcome weaknesses in emotional intelligence.
In this article, you’ll learn:
- How to spot the employee who needs to “take the edge off”
- The ripple effect this person has on your team
- How you can develop this person
Describing the Employee Who Needs To ‘Take The Edge Off’
You know the type. The one barking, “Just fix it! I don’t care, I want it done!” when a project hits a bump. They think they’re being clear, assertive, even efficient.
But what does the team hear? “Your efforts don’t matter. I’m not interested in you. Just the result.”
Maybe it’s the accounts payable person who rejects your expense report because it’s missing a decimal point — and who snaps at you when you ask questions about it.
Or the HR manager who, after you lose a loved one in a tragic accident, reminds you company policy allows exactly three days of bereavement leave. No exceptions.
Sometimes it’s the top sales manager. You know, the one clients absolutely love: they’re charming and relentless, and they close every deal. But back at the office? Their direct reports live in constant stress, bracing for the next aggressive demand or stinging critique.
What’s Behind Aggressive Behavior in the Workplace?
Often, these people don’t intend to be malicious toward their team. They typically have no idea their behavior negatively impacts the company.
In behavioral assessments like the DISC profile, these leaders often show a high “Dominance” score, which means they’re results-driven, decisive, and direct.
But without some people-pleasing Influence to soften the edges, their approach can come off as dismissive, self-centered, or even arrogant.
To them, pushing harder feels like the right move, like they’re steering the ship through rough waters. But what they don’t see is the damage their style causes. They’re aggressive when they think they’re being assertive. They’re transactional when they’re aiming for efficiency.
And here’s the kicker: these people often deliver. They hit the numbers. They drive projects forward. And because they do get results, the behavior goes unchecked.
But underneath the success is a team quietly struggling.
Frustration builds, and turnover increases. No one wants to collaborate with this person. Their direct reports perform cautiously and reluctantly in an attempt to stay under the radar.
And yet, no one wants to address the behavior because, well, this person is “getting the job done,” right?
Not exactly. Let’s talk about what’s really happening and what you can do to help.
The Ripple Effect of an Employee Who’s Too Aggressive
If you’ve worked with someone like this, you already know the impact. Sure, they might keep the team “in line,” but it’s at a cost:
- High Turnover: Talented employees don’t stick around when they feel undervalued or steamrolled.
- Low Morale: People who feel dismissed stop giving their best. They check out emotionally.
- Broken Collaboration: Peers don’t want to work with someone they can’t trust to listen or compromise.
And let’s not forget decision-making. Employees with poor impulse control are quick to pull the trigger without stepping back to consider context. Projects get derailed, and opportunities get missed.
What’s really ironic is this: the employee who’s “winning” at all costs might actually be holding the team back. Sure, they’re hitting goals. But imagine what they could achieve if they were developing the team instead of steamrolling them. Think about how much more productive the group would be if they felt valued, empowered, and supported.
Aggressive leadership is a short-term win. In the long run? It’s a losing strategy.
So, What Can You Do to Mitigate Aggression in Employees?
If you’ve got a leader like this on your team, there’s good news. Their behavior isn’t in their blood, and it isn’t set in stone.
You can actually develop this leader, and the result is someone who hits the numbers and inspires their team.
It starts with an EQ 360 assessment. Let’s break down each term:
- EQ: shorthand for “emotional intelligence,” a.k.a. the ability to understand and manage emotions
- 360: an assessment that collects feedback from your boss, peers, direct reports, and family
An EQ 360 is a wake-up call for many leaders because it highlights the gap between intention and impact.
Most leaders genuinely don’t realize how their behavior impacts others. They think they’re being strong and decisive, but the people around them are reading something else entirely.
Take this story from one of our clients. They received the lowest emotional intelligence scores from their family.
Surprising, right? At work, they were able to keep their emotions in check. But by the time they got home, the stress from the day boiled over, and their family bore the brunt of it. This person had no idea how their stress-fueled behavior affected the people they loved the most. It was a massive wake-up call and sparked real change.
Once the 360 feedback comes in, the next step is coaching. A behavioral coach helps the leader understand the feedback and helps them come up with a development plan.
Here’s how it works:
- The coach asks questions like, “How do these results show up in your daily interactions?” or “What impact do you think this has on your team?”
- The leader reflects, processes, and decides what they want to change.
- From there, they create a plan, and the coach can help hold them accountable.
The key is a willingness to change. If the leader is open to feedback and ready to work, the results can be transformative. And often, just seeing the impact of their behavior through the EQ 360 assessment is enough to get the ball rolling.
The Bottom Line on Developing Your Aggressive Employee
At the end of the day, the leader who “needs to take the edge off” isn’t just affecting their direct reports. Their behavior ripples through the entire team and beyond. They’re driving people away. They’re stifling productivity. And they’re leaving opportunities for real growth on the table.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. With tools like EQ development, they can learn to take a step back, understand their impact, and shift their behavior. That doesn’t mean losing their drive or softening their ambition. It just means channeling it in a way that inspires the team, instead of leaving them burnt out.
The Metiss Group has decades of experience helping leaders develop emotional intelligence, build stronger teams, and drive sustainable success. And it all starts with understanding the difference between what you intend and what people experience.
Now that you understand how to develop an aggressive employee, next you should read more about the EQ 360 assessment and learn how you can use it to develop your leaders.
