One of the most important skills you can develop, whether in your personal life or at work, is emotional intelligence. Yet, so many people misunderstand it.
Some assume it's just about being “nice.” Others don’t realize, unlike IQ, emotional intelligence can be strengthened over time. And even for those who do understand its value, knowing where to start can feel overwhelming.
At The Metiss Group, we help leaders develop the emotional intelligence they need to navigate challenges and make better decisions. Through The Emotional Intelligence Journey™, we guide individuals in assessing their current EQ, identifying areas for growth, and working with a coach to improve the specific skills that will have the biggest impact.
In this article, we’ll cover:
- What is Emotional Intelligence?
- Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important in the Workplace?
- How Does Emotional Intelligence Improve Decision-Making?
- Can Emotional Intelligence Be Developed?
- Is EQ More Important Than IQ for Success?
- Misconceptions of Emotional Intelligence
- Real-Life Examples of Bad Emotional Intelligence
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
In The EQ Edge, Steven J. Stein and Howard E. Book define emotional intelligence as “the set of skills that enable us to make our way in a complex world—the personal, emotional, and social aspects of intelligence.”
Unlike IQ, which measures cognitive ability, EQ determines how well you adapt, problem-solve, and communicate. It includes skills like emotional self-awareness, impulse control, stress management, and interpersonal effectiveness—all of which play a major role in career success and leadership.
Psychologist Daniel Goleman, who popularized the concept, breaks EQ into five core components:
- Self-awareness: Recognizing your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and actions.
- Self-regulation: Managing emotions in a way that’s constructive, rather than reactive.
- Motivation: Using emotions to fuel perseverance and goal achievement.
- Empathy: Understanding and considering the emotions of others.
- Social skills: Navigating relationships, resolving conflicts, and influencing people effectively.
Emotional intelligence is what separates high achievers from those who struggle, particularly in leadership and workplace settings.
Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important in the Workplace?
Emotional intelligence is a competitive advantage, particularly in the workplace. While technical skills and intelligence matter, research from the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) has found poor emotional intelligence is a top reason executives fail in their roles. The ability to manage emotions, handle pressure, and collaborate effectively often makes the difference between a good employee and a great leader.
Consider how EQ plays out in the workplace:
- A manager with high EQ can deliver tough feedback without making employees feel discouraged.
- A salesperson with strong emotional intelligence can read a customer’s emotions and adjust their approach accordingly.
- A team member with good self-regulation won’t snap under pressure, which makes them a steady and reliable presence.
It’s not just about avoiding conflict. Companies with emotionally intelligent leaders tend to have higher employee engagement, lower turnover, and better collaboration. Studies from Harvard Business Review have consistently shown organizations that prioritize EQ training see improvements in productivity and team performance.
How Does Emotional Intelligence Improve Decision-Making?
Every decision you make is influenced by emotions, whether you realize it or not. If you’ve ever made an impulsive choice out of frustration or hesitated out of fear, you’ve seen this firsthand. Emotional intelligence helps you recognize these influences so you can respond strategically instead of reacting emotionally.
People with high emotional intelligence make better decisions because they take a moment to pause before reacting, which prevents knee-jerk responses that might lead to poor outcomes. They are also more aware of cognitive biases that could cloud their judgment, allowing them to assess situations more objectively.
Instead of making choices from a place of stress or pressure, they manage their emotions effectively, ensuring that decisions are driven by logic rather than anxiety.
Additionally, their ability to understand different perspectives helps them approach problems with a broader, more well-rounded view, leading to stronger and more sustainable solutions.
This is particularly valuable in leadership and problem-solving roles. The ability to separate facts from feelings and approach challenges with emotional awareness leads to smarter, more balanced decisions.
Can Emotional Intelligence Be Developed?
Absolutely. Emotional intelligence isn’t something you either have or don’t; it’s a set of skills that can be developed with practice and intentional effort.
The key is starting with self-awareness and then actively working on areas that need improvement.
At The Metiss Group, we guide individuals through this process with The Emotional Intelligence Journey™. It begins with an EQ 360, which provides a comprehensive look at how you perceive yourself and how others experience you in the workplace.
This feedback is critical. It’s often the first time people truly see the gaps between their intentions and how they come across.
Once you have that awareness, the next step is working with a coach to determine which areas of emotional intelligence you want to strengthen. For example, some people need to improve impulse control to avoid reacting too quickly under stress. Others might focus on developing empathy to build stronger relationships and influence others more effectively.
Through coaching, reflection, and practical application, you begin to integrate these skills into your daily interactions. Over time, managing emotions, handling difficult conversations, and making sound decisions under pressure become second nature.
Is EQ More Important Than IQ for Success?
IQ is useful for solving technical problems, but it doesn’t predict long-term success on its own. Studies have repeatedly shown emotional intelligence is a stronger indicator of leadership potential, workplace performance, and overall career achievement.
Research from Development Dimensions International (DDI) has found leaders with high EQ are significantly more effective in their roles.
That’s not to say hard skills and experience don’t matter. It does, particularly in fields that require technical expertise. But when it comes to career advancement, relationship-building, and problem-solving, EQ often determines how far you’ll go.
Misconceptions About Emotional Intelligence
Too many people still dismiss emotional intelligence as a warm-and-fuzzy skill: something useful for teachers or HR professionals but irrelevant for hard-charging business leaders. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Emotional intelligence is essential for anyone looking to make sound decisions, lead effectively, and influence others. And ironically, the people who need it most are often the ones who lack the self-awareness to recognize their own shortcomings.
Research supports its broad applications. A report on emotional intelligence in law enforcement emphasizes that technical skills and intelligence alone aren’t enough to succeed in high-pressure roles. Officers who lack emotional intelligence struggle to build relationships, manage conflict, and navigate complex interpersonal situations. The report states that emotional intelligence is a learned capability that directly contributes to outstanding performance at work and highlights how assessments like the EQ-i or EQ360 can improve self-awareness and decision-making.
Real-Life Examples of Bad Emotional Intelligence
In the workplace, it’s common to hear leaders say, “Just take the emotions out of your decision — it’s just business.” That, of course, is impossible.
Every decision is influenced by emotion in some way, whether we acknowledge it or not. If you don’t have empathy for others or self-awareness about how your actions impact those around you, your decision-making will suffer.
As behavior experts for 30 years, we at The Metiss Group have seen and heard countless examples of bad emotional intelligence. Some are small but painfully common, like the person talking loudly on speakerphone in a shared space, oblivious to how it annoys others. Other examples are much worse.
We once encountered a leader who proudly told us about a direct report who often cried at work. He developed a routine: as soon as she started crying, he would silently place a box of tissues in front of her and say, “Let me know when you’re done.” No empathy, just an impatient cue for her to hurry up and get over it.
Then there was the desperate recruiter who, when a candidate asked about vision insurance, the recruiter promised it — even though the company didn’t offer this benefit. Rather than problem-solve and find a legitimate way to meet the candidate’s needs, he chose an outright lie just to get the hire.
Here’s another: we once heard of a business owner who insisted that T-shirt size be included on job applications — not for uniform ordering purposes, but because they wanted to judge if a candidate was overweight before even considering them for the role.
So if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Wow, did they really just say that out loud?” then you’ve probably witnessed bad emotional intelligence in action.
Final Thoughts on Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is one of the most important skills you can develop, yet many people don’t prioritize it — often because they don’t fully understand what it is or how to improve it. Emotional intelligence affects everything from decision-making to leadership to workplace success, and unlike IQ, it can be developed with the right approach.
Here at The Metiss Group, we guide our clients through The Emotional Intelligence Journey™, helping them become more successful in the workplace and at home.
Now that you understand what emotional intelligence is and how it can be developed, the next step is to see if you’d be a good fit for emotional intelligence development.
