You’re a busy leader with a jam-packed calendar — the last thing you want to do is add another meeting into the mix. But if you fail to prioritize one-on-one meetings with your direct reports, you’ll have a tough time building trust with your team and seeing them reach high performance.
Here at The Metiss Group, we teach our clients eight leadership practices as part of The Leadership Essentials Playbook™, and one-on-ones is by far the most impactful practice.
In this article, we’ll discuss:
- Why One-on-One Meetings Matter So Much
- One-on-Ones Should Prioritize The Relationship
- One-on-Ones Should Be Consistent
- How To Structure Your One-On-Ones
- Why “I Don’t Have Time” Is A Weak Excuse
Why One-on-One Meetings Matter So Much
When you make time for one-on-one meetings, your direct report feels valued. They get your undivided attention for thirty minutes — just them and their leader. No interruptions, no competing priorities. And when people feel like they matter, they give you their best work.
We once had a client who pushed back on doing one-on-ones. He had five direct reports and didn’t think he had time to spend 2.5 extra hours a week in meetings. He finally agreed to test it out, just with two of his team members.
The ones who got the meetings? Loved them. Felt more engaged and started performing at a higher level.
The ones who didn’t? Felt left out. Like they weren’t important enough for their leaders’ time and envied their peers.
It didn’t take long for him to go all in and start doing one-on-ones with his entire team. And guess what? He realized these meetings were actually saving him time.
Productivity skyrocketed because he was always on the same page with his people. Problems were solved before they turned into disasters. Those little things that pile up and drain your time? They got handled early.
You’ve heard the phrase “slow down to speed up”? That’s exactly what this is. Thirty minutes today prevents hours of confusion, frustration, and misalignment down the road.
One-on-Ones Should Prioritize the Relationship
Let’s get something straight: this is not a status update meeting. You probably already have plenty of those. One-on-ones are about the relationship.
That means no rigid agenda. No grilling your direct report about unfinished tasks. This is the time to talk about how they’re doing, inside and outside of work. Remember, the whole person comes to work.
Most weeks, the conversation might feel pretty casual. They’ll say things are going well, you’ll chat a bit, and that’s it. But here’s the magic: because you’re doing this every week, you’ll notice when something shifts.
If your direct report usually says, “Everything’s great!” and then one week, they just say, “Things are okay,” you’ll catch it. It’s a subtle signal, a quiet way of asking for help. And if you weren’t meeting consistently, you might miss it.
In other words, 90% of your one-on-ones might seem uneventful, but they create a space for the 10% of conversations that really matter. The ones that wouldn’t happen otherwise.
One-on-Ones Should Be Consistent
You wouldn’t cancel a meeting with your biggest client at the last minute, right? Well, your direct report is just as important. Remember without them, your team doesn’t function.
This is the one meeting where you cannot show up late, cancel, or reschedule.
Let’s say some sort of misalignment happens on Wednesday and your direct report thinks, “I’ll bring this up in my one-on-one on Friday.” But then you cancel.
By next week, that issue might be buried. Maybe it’s festered into resentment. Maybe they’ve already decided it’s not worth bringing up. Either way, you just lost an opportunity to address something that mattered.
Yes, life happens. Emergencies come up. But if you’re treating this meeting like an optional calendar slot instead of a sacred commitment, you’re sending a clear message: This isn’t a priority. And if it’s not a priority for you, why should your team prioritize you?
How to Structure Your One-on-Ones
These shouldn’t feel rigid, but having a general structure helps. Otherwise, it’s easy to spend the whole 30 minutes talking about weekend plans and completely miss the point.
Here’s a simple breakdown that works:
- First 10 minutes: Relationship check-in. What’s going on in their world? How’s life outside of work? This builds trust, and trust is the foundation of high performance.
- Next 10 minutes: Role and job-related topics. Any concerns? Ask: “Where are you stuck?” Is there anything that needs to be cascaded down? This part can be issue-oriented, but remember, this isn’t the time to criticize incomplete tasks. Instead, think of it as a chance to give feedback and support.
- Final 10 minutes: Personal development. Ask: “What are you doing to grow?” The worst thing you can do as a leader is let your team’s skills stagnate. Their role will outgrow them, and then you’ll be scrambling to fix it later. Make sure they’re sharpening their saw.
“I Don’t Have Time” Is a Weak Excuse
Let’s address the biggest pushback we hear: I don’t have time for this.
When you were a student, did you ever have a teacher who genuinely cared about you? One who went out of their way to help? If you did, you probably worked harder in their class — not because you had to, but because you didn’t want to let them down.
The same thing happens in the workplace. When your team knows you care, they go the extra mile. Not out of fear, but out of respect. They don’t want to disappoint you.
So sure, committing 30 minutes a week to each direct report might feel like a lot. But the effort and trust you get back will more than make up for it.
Want a more engaged, high-performing team? Stop making excuses and start having regular one-on-ones with all your direct reports.
The Bottom Line About One-on-Ones
Leaders who don’t meet one-on-one with their direct reports probably still have a pretty good team. But if you believe good is the enemy of great, and if you’re looking to help your team become high performers, then it all starts with one-on-one meetings.
Here at The Metiss Group, we teach our clients the power of one-on-ones, and we can tell plenty of stories about clients who learned for themselves how essential this leadership practice should be in the workplace.
Now that you understand this essential leadership practice, the next step is to meet with an advisor at The Metiss Group so you can learn how to implement one-on-ones (and other leadership strategies) at your organization. This call is 15 minutes long, no pressure, no commitment – it’s just a chance to see if you’d be a good fit for our services. Fill out the form below today, and we’ll get something on the books.
